Sunday, September 18, 2011
5 Things They Don't Tell You About Fatherhood And 1 Thing They Do
So, I'm a father. My little girl is three months old and her and my wife are in Detroit for the weekend visiting family. (I had to stay home and work.) It's a fitting time, I think, to write a little about the things I didn't expect about becoming a father, because there are some things that they don't tell you. But they should, things like.
Bonding:
You will bond with your child at least twice, and the first time doesn't really count. When my daughter was born, I was in the room, I watched it happen. I, like most every other man who has ever experienced this event was immediately overcome with emotion. The problem with this, as many would tell you, is that you can't base a relationship on purely emotion. emotional highs (like the one I just described) wear away, they ebb and flow. We, as humans are selfish. It's one thing for me to decide to love my wife on a daily basis, but another to do the same to my daughter (at least it was at first). My wife can love me back, my week-old daughter, could not. This truth left me with a profound sense that my home had been invaded by a small person I had no feelings for. I hadn't really bonded yet. This left me with a deep, deep sense of guilt and shame because "fathers should love their daughters" I said to my wife. It took a little bit of time (a couple of weeks) but I did bond with my little girl and I do love her more than anyone on this planet, (except her mother) but those first weeks were hard.
Sleep:
"Get your sleep now! Haw haw haw" it's what everyone tells you when they find you you're going to have a baby. What they don't tell you is that if your wife is breastfeeding, you will sleep more or less like you always did. Odds are, at least for the first year or so, your wife will be at home on maternity leave, and if that is the case, odds are you are working and your wife, will let you sleep so that you can go to work. She however, will not sleep which leads to...
Guilt:
If you are sleeping, you will feel guilty about it. It doesn't matter what she says about this that it's ok, or that she understands, you will feel guilty that you are not suffering with her. also, she will be more tired than you regardless, you will feel guilty about that too.
The Bed:
It will be taken over by a tiny human who takes up 80% of the space, your wife gets 15%, the extra pillows preventing you from rolling onto and crushing the baby get 2% and you get 3%. Or at least, that's how it feels.
Lying:
You will lie to your friends and family about how much you love being a new dad until you've actually bonded with your child. Because until then, you really are just confused, and filled with mixed emotions about the whole thing, but you can't say that to your mother, or mother in law for that matter, the best you can get away with is that you're feeling "challenged" when in fact, you may be miserable because this tiny human has invaded your life.
But.
After all this, there is something that they do tell you about fatherhood that makes it all worth it. The first time you walk into a room, and your baby looks at you, recognizes you and smiles, THAT moment, covers up all the bad and makes every single thing worth it. All I need from my little girl for the rest of my life, is that smile when she sees me, because even though she can't say it now, or even know what it means, that smile says: "I love you dad."
And that means the world.
-Kevin
Sermon text 1 Corinthians 9:19-23
So,
good morning.
I'll be working out of 1Corinthians 9:19-23, though I will bounce
around a bit. For now though, let's just read this one together
19 For
though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that
I might win more of them. 20 To
the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the
law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the
law) that I might win those under the law. 21 To
those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being
outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win
those outside the law. 22 To
the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all
things to all people, that by all means I might save some. 23 I
do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in
its blessings.
What are some
things that traditionally, stereotypically, Christians can't or don't
do? (pause for responses)
There's a
rhyme in the more conservative baptist circles that I travel in: “We
don't drink, we don't chew and we don't go with girls that do.”
It's an archaic expression, but it still rings with truth. Christians
don't drink, we don't smoke, or chew and we don't swear. At last
that's the stereotype. I know I don't live up to the expectations
that many people I come into contact with have of me once they find
out that I'm a Christian. I'm a beer snob, which means, obviously,
that I drink beer. I smoked a cigar with my uncles when my daughter
was born, and much to my own shame, I'd be lying if I said I never
swore though I usually do it in French...because fewer people
understand me then....When I'm visiting Quebec, I suppose I'll have
to switch to English.
So what Paul
here is talking about is how Christians are to behave around people
who are not Christians. We're going to look at these all, but let's
start off with the one Paul knew the most about.
To
the Jews I became like a Jew:
This first
category wasn't all that difficult for Paul since he was, ethnically,
Jewish. So for Paul to “Become Jewish” wouldn't have been a big
deal because to most of the Jews of the day, he was. He was already
Jewish. He was Hebrew. Now the difference comes in the book of Acts
when Paul wants to take Timothy, a Greek, and Paul's student out with
him on a missionary journey where they would be interacting and
ministering to Jews. Timothy, because he was Greek before converting
to Christianity, was never circumcised. Now Paul is known in other
places in scripture to be adamant that circumcision is not necessary
to be a Christian. He goes so far in the book of Galatians as to
encourage those that do believe you need circumcision to just go
ahead, finish the job and castrate themselves! So it should come as
no surprise to anyone, that in this case, Timothy WAS circumcised!
Wait...what?
So Paul is
adamant that circumcision is not necessary yet Timothy is circumcised
just to appease the Jews on the journey? Why the double standard?
Because there's a difference between can, and must. See the pressure
that was coming from Galatia was coming from other Christians who had
been Jews and now wanted all new Christians to be circumcised as
well, because they believed that you must be a part of the old
covenant in order to be a part of the new one. They were adding
circumcision to the Gospel, to the completed and complete work of
Jesus. In Timothy's case, both Paul and Timothy knew and understood
that whether or not Timothy was circumcised did nothing to change or
improve his standing with God but they did know that as a gentile,
his status would bar him from many opportunities within the Jewish
community, even if he was travelling with Paul. So he went ahead and
got circumcised, because he could, not because he had to. Timothy
flexed, and gave up some of his rights, and freedoms o that he might
have the opportunity to teach the Gospel.
To
those under the Law, I became as one under the law
So right now
the guys in the room are probably wondering how many more times I'm
going to say “that word” this morning, and I think, or now at
least, I'm done with it. So I'll move on to another topic, one that
we men will enjoy a bit more, I think, meat. So it's a new school
year at Heritage, where I went to college, and the kids will have
probably, by now, moved into residence. I can almost guarantee you,
that at some pint in the next eight months, this question will be
thrown around in dorm, probably at 3am: Is it appropriate for a
Christian to eat Kosher or Halal meat? On the surface it seems like a
pretty simple question, Acts 10 effectively changed all of the
dietary laws so that Christians are free to eat any animal which is
great because I am glad God made pigs out of bacon. In the next
chapter, Paul explicitly says that we can, as Christians eat food
sacrificed to idols because we know that that idol is just a thing
that was created by God and made into an idol by man. After all, if a
man builds a statue of Athena, or Molech, or any other god, who made
he wood? Who created the metal? God did. But only four verses
earlier, Paul says that to eat food that is sacrificed to idols is to
share in the worship of demons! Not to mention that in Matthew 15
Jesus Himself says that it doesn't matter what you eat because it's
what comes out of the mouth that matters, not what goes into it!
So can I eat
the Halal cutlets or not? Maybe, because again, there is a difference
between can and must. If it's just me, and Cody, sure, eat the halal,
though I don't know why, it's more expensive and tastes more or less
the same. But let me ask you this, would you have a beer with an
alcoholic? Of course not, that's irresponsible. Now, would you eat
halal with an ex Muslim who is now a Christian and may have
reservations about eating what he may consider to be food sacrificed
to an idol? Moving on. But if someone comes up to me and says that
all Christians can not eat halal and be Christian, geuss what I'm
having for lunch. (laughter?) And I’m not being a smart alek. They
are adding to the completed work and sufficiency of Jesus and the
Gospel.
To
those outside the Law.
Now here is
where we can get tripped up. Because this is where people get the
idea of Christian freedom all messed up. Some people hear “outside
the law” and think it's a moral carte blanche to do whatever they
want in the name of “evangelism”. The problem with this is that
there's no limit. To the drunk I became a drunk, To the adulterer, I
became an adulterer, to the child molester, I became a child
molester? No. Brothers and sisters, this is not what Christian
freedom is. Christian freedom is the freedom to do ALL things to the
glory of God because when you're a Christian, your desires should
only be to glorify God. Not that any of us are perfect, we all fail
in many ways at many times, but when we are talking about Christian
freedom and the law of Christ; we talk about the freedom to do
anything we want because all we want do to is glorify the Father.
Because there's a difference between can and must. Just because I can
exercise my freedom here, doesn't mean I must nor does it mean that
by exercising it I glorify God. Besides, when Paul talks about those
outside the Law, he's not talking about criminals, he's talking about
people outside the law of Moses, he's talking about Gentiles,
non-Jews he's talking about you and me.
To
the Weak I became weak
Last group.
To the weak I became weak in order to win the weak. Does that sound
really strange to anyone else besides me? When you're trying to
present something to someone who is weak, you want to come at it from
a position of strength don't you? You don't want to appear weak to
the weak so that the weak don't trust you do you? You want to have it
together so that the weak say “Wow, look at him, he's strong, I
want what he has.” Paul says no, to the weak, become weak to win
the weak from out of their weakness. So who are the weak here? Well
that's the beautiful thing about the continuity of this passage. See,
where the top two categories are Jews and God-fearers, that is Ethnic
Jews and uncircumcised gentiles who have converted to Judaism; The
second two sections are Gentiles (those not under the Law) and the
weak. These weak ones are different than the weak in chapter 8, in
that they are not Christians, we know that because Paul says he still
wants to win them. These weak ones are probably the kind of people we
see here in churches today, they come to church, they have good
morals, and they're really uncomfortable with other religions, but
they're not Christians yet. They're like the people who show up on
Christmas and Easter, or Republicans. They’re not Christians so
much as they are “religious”
I
have become all things to all people...
Do you see
what Paul is doing here? He's gathering together ALL people for the
Gospel! The Jews, Those under the Law, who were probably God-fearers
and Jewish by religion and not ethnicity, and those not under the
Law, the gentiles and the weak ones. That's everyone! I have become
ALL things to ALL people that by ALL means I might save some. Paul is
saying what I hope by now is rather obvious. The methods you use in
ministry to get the gospel out are flexible, and it's you that does
the flexing. YOU flex, don’t water down the message, but tailor it
to your audience. And here's why Paul even says it.
Participate
in the Gospel
Paul says “I
do it all for the sake of the Gospel” and most English translations
here probably read “that I may share in it's blessings” or
something similar. I learned something, however, when I was
researching this sermon, that the original Greek is a little more
ambiguous and translates literally to “That I might participate in
it.” so: “ I do it all for the sake of the Gospel, that I might
participate in it.” and what is participating in the Gospel all
about if not all about doing what Jesus himself did and identifying
with those he came to save. Jesus, the second part of the trinity,
God, from eternity past perfectly holy, perfectly righteous, comes
down to earth to identify with us. To the Humans, I became a human in
order to save humanity. And not only become human, Jesus identifies
with us so much He went as far as the cross, dying our death in our
place to save some of us. I know that there are a lot of things that
River City does to help you identify and be able to communicate the
truth of this Gospel to the people around you. To help equip you to
explain the story of the God who identified with us. We just finished
a series on movies, and film, and how the stories we watch and are
entertained by fit into the Biblical story. And I hope that you see
that not just as light summer church fare because there's fewer
people around in the summer, but take it as an opportunity to
challenge yourself and grow as a Christian. Think of areas you may
need to flex when it comes to the Gospel. Ask yourself what all
things to all people looks like to you, and how can you live out the
call that God has placed on your life as well as mine. Let's pray
Labels:
1 Cor 9,
Bible,
Corinthians,
Sermon,
Theology
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